Chintan Jani

I was a very social kid when moved to the United States as a Sophomore in Highschool. My first day/week/year went okay, to my knowledge.

Later, I realized/was told that most of the people had already made friends and fallen into categorized groups in Freshman year and all the interaction with people I did have, or who I thought were my “friends” were just talking to me to make fun of me. This broke my heart. Honestly at that point I felt violated more than anything; I couldn’t wrap my head around why anyone would do that to someone. But I had to keep pushing forward, I was going through so much and had bottled up emotions that it pushed me to depression but I still kept going. I hid my feelings.

As if this culture shock wasn’t enough to throw me in a shell that I refused to come out of, the constant pressure from my own people was jarring with everything that I grew up to believe in.

I couldn't trust anyone, It was affecting my grades. I just went to school, attended classes and came back home as if I had no life in me. If this whole story probably has you thinking, "where is he going with this?" I don't know and if this feels like a hot mess of emotions then that's exactly what I felt back then.

Our community throws this “fob” term around like it’s a joke but it’s disheartening, we gotta realize that the person who migrated has already been through enough just to get here and if you don’t do anything good to ease his/her transition into the new life then at least don’t hurt their pride, don’t break them, don’t abuse them mentally, physically or verbally. It hurts. It truly does and as a community, we can do better than that.

ABOUT

In alignment with our mission to encourage others to #SpeakUp about mental health, we’ve created this blog – a passion project highlighting those who wish to share their stories with the world.

Open to anyone, the series features personal anecdotes from members of the South Asian community who have struggled with mental illness – and the stigma that comes along with it.

To submit your story, click here.