Although I feel fortunate to have not had any serious mental issues, my mind has certain tendencies that I have found very difficult to address.
Insane. Crazy. Mad. Unhealthy. Abnormal. These words follow me around everyday, everywhere. They’re carved into my skin, sewed into my clothes, combed into my hair. They penetrate the bubble that separates me from a harsh society.
When we first learn to walk, our parents tell us that we’re bound to fall. So, when we experience trauma, why does society reprimand us for breaking down? How are the circumstances any different?
Though the experiences I’ve faced have been difficult to process, the trauma from being reprimanded by society has taken a lasting toll on my mental health. Putting on a mask to hide the tears, posting smiling faces on social media to ensure my “audience” that I am “thriving”.
I’m not thriving. I’m feeling drained. I’m feeling paranoid, confused, neglected. I’m feeling unsafe, misunderstood, unheard. So instead of scolding me for falling down, what if society smiled because I tried? Instead of keeping me down, what if society encouraged me to try again?