November 2018 marked the 15 year anniversary of my suicide attempt. I can’t believe it has been that long but at the same time, it feels...
So many eyes you would think we’re famous
But in reality, we’re just kinda nameless
The infamy that an Indian carries with a wheelchair
Is kinda like
Have you ever been scared of societal spiders?
So many eyes you that you want to wipe with windshield wipers
Are they malicious? Or are they curious?
Either way it makes me furious
She’s just a child, she’s just my baby sister
Your gaze hurts my soul like a bloody blister
No wonder my mom tried to ward off your evil eye
You don’t see the person within, that’s the true source of life
I could only imagine if her disease was within
Like something that didn’t show up on her skin
What if she had depression or PTSD?
Could you be the ears that she needed you to be?
You have never acknowledged emotions, crying or let alone post-traumatic stress disorder
“Just go study. Get good grades. Get a good job. In that order.”
Ok so I did that process and built up all my tools
Worked hard and somehow ended up in a med school
However, they teach me all of these contradictions
“Mental health is real, but the industry is profuse with prescriptions”
We’ve been selling lies like fake candies labeled as a cure
Because we haven’t learned how to communicate in a form that’s pure
Indians don’t have time to wake up while trying to dodge being poor
Distracting themselves with delusions of grandeur
Not all of them are blind though
There is a tunnel with close-by light glow
All you have to do is look at the roots of your own culture
The one time it’s ok to scavenge what’s dead like a vulture
The path and philosophy is all written in the Vedas
Reviving that tradition might be what can save us
Be complete with your incompletions
Be one with the universe, more than just superstition
“Just Breath. Do yoga. And meditate.”
Surrender to the cosmos something you can’t stipulate
Misconceptions of mental health
stem from British constructs of caste and wealth
Be free of the chains and anchors of your past
Let go of your blind faith in society at last