If you are having suicidal thoughts or feelings, contact 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or a qualified physician / mental health professional immediately.
I have strained relationships and I am not talking only about romantic ones, but particularly familial relationships. It was weird growing up. I’ve seen a lot of unhealthy things which undeniably affected a lot. It’s strange to have lived through so much trauma and physical abuse to the extent to which its not normal…but we somehow think it is.
There’s a line and that line was crossed a lot during my childhood and which became the source of PTSD and anxiety for me. I can’t tolerate it at all if people are angry with me anymore. It is internalized, especially when men get mad at me. It’s unbearable.
I wish more people talked about it. When we don’t, it really blurs the line and gives people excuses to do things and just justify it as “this is just how it is”.
Children are supposed to feel safe, secure, and consoled. Some amount of discomfort incurs growth but not always. I am lucky that my parents have provided a lot to me, financially and with access to an incredible education but nothing excuses that kind of behavior. I found a lot of supportive people who were able to reinforce that.
I’ve had to learn how to do deal with the anxiety that has come a result of this perpetual, wired fear but fighting for myself and understanding the motivations behind everything, really helps. Its my body’s protective mechanism. I can’t be angry at my body for protecting me. Understanding the physiological symptoms behind this trauma has truly helped.
In alignment with our mission to encourage others to #SpeakUp about mental health, we’ve created this blog – a passion project highlighting those who wish to share their stories with the world.
Open to anyone, the series features personal anecdotes from members of the South Asian community who have struggled with mental illness – and the stigma that comes along with it.
To submit your story, click here.
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Although I feel fortunate to have not had any serious mental issues, my mind has certain tendencies that I have found very difficult to address.
Sometimes it’ll be so silent that the volume of my thoughts magnifies or it’ll be so loud that I can’t even think straight...
My maternal grandmother was schizophrenic. She helped raised me and my siblings for more than two decades before she passed away in 2002...
The suicidal thoughts. The incessant worrying. The ceaseless panic. It’s been like this for over 6 years. For the first 4 years...
MannMukti pledges to serve all South Asians, recognizing the power hierarchies in our communities, created and maintained by different identities of caste, language, geography, gender, sexuality, and religion that shape individuals’ obstacles while seeking mental liberation.
